Bean Burgers

Homeplus started carrying canned beans - huzzah! I can never plan the time to soak dried beans, and now I don't have to! Way to facilitate my laziness Homeplus, now I can make bean burgers at on a whim! Like a crazy person!

1 can kidney beans (or whatevs kind of beans you have) drained, rinsed and mashed

half an onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 tbsp flour

tsp? cumin

tsp? curry

tbsp ketchup

1 egg

Mix it all together, it'll be a little gloopy, but you can just drop it into a pan and flatten it out and it'll fry into a little burger.

The salad is tomato, corn and orange pepper with olive oil and red wine vinegar.

Chicken Pot Pie

I bought an oven! It's a tiny bit of a thing, and the whole thing shakes and hums when it's it's trying to heat itself up, but I love it so.

I don't have pie plates, so I used my Korean metal soup bowls instead. In the future I might pre-bake the bottom crust because it took a little time to get crispy on account of the bowls being quite thick.

Filling:
- Chicken (breasts or whatever) cut up into chunks and sauteed in a little bit of oil.
- Onion, celery, garlic, carrots, any other vegetables you like. Add to the chicken.
- Few tbsps of flour, stir to coat everything

- Chicken stock, add to make a thick stew-y consistency
- Bay leaf, basil, oregano- Let everything jam together in the pot a while.

Crust:
- 1 1/4 cup flour
- 1/2 cup cold butter
- 1 tsp salt
- ice water

Chop up the butter into the flour until it's pea sized chunks. You could use a blender or knives, or your hands but as a last resort because they'll melt the butter and you really want those chunks.

Add water 1 tbsp at a time until dough comes together in a ball. Cover and refrigerate for a half hour. At this point you could also freeze some and save it for another time. Look at you, thinking ahead and everything.

After it's chilled out divide the dough about 2/3 and 1/3 for the bottom and top, respectively. Sprinkle a little flour on the table and roll it flat using a rolling pin, or an empty wine bottle, or a broomstick. After every 2-3 rolls flip the dough over so it doesn't try to become one with the table.

Drape the dough inside the bowl, add filling, put on the roof. You can make some nice wavy edges, or just pinch it together roughly and say you were going for the 'rustic' look. Cut a few slits for the steam to escape then brush with a lightly beaten egg so the top comes out nice and golden. Bake at the bottom of the oven on 400f/200c (?) until the crust is nice and crispy.

Eat it already.

Tomato Soup

I love canned tomato soup, but I don't love it for 3000 won. This soup is a pretty good facsimile of Campbells, becuase isn't that the standard by which we measure all soup?

Tomato's are getting expensive round these parts, so I suggest buying the discount ones, where the hide the rotton side down in the package but you totally know it's there. Some people might shy away from eating partially rotting food, but my dad used to tell me that the mold on bread was just penicillin, so I have no qualms with cutting away the bad parts of a tomato.

Roughly chop 4 or 5 tomatos and throw them in a pot. When they've released all their juices you can blend or mash or smoosh them up a bit and add water (or milk or cream), some bullion cubes, salt and pepper and let it get jiggy for a while. Once it's groovy, add somewhere between a tsp and a tbsp of sugar to cut the acidity. Then run it through a sieve to remove the skins, if you're into that kind of thing, and you're good to go. Grilled cheese sandwhich optional, but recommended. Likewise for sugarless saltines.

Baked Potato Soup

All the flavour of a baked potato in a convenient liquid form for people without teeth or those too lazy to use them.

You'll need:

- baaaaaaacon
- oooonion
- potatoes (4ish)
- milk/water
- bullion cubes
- green onions
- cheddar cheese
- plain yogurt

Fry the bacon in the bottom of your dutch oven. I fry mine straight from frozen after hacking it apart with a not nearly sharp enough knife. When it's crispy, which is the best way to eat bacon imho, remove it and set it aside for later. DO NOT DRAIN THAT GREASE. Toss the onion (chopped) in on top of it and let it get groovy in those juices. We're young, we don't care about cholesterol, right?

When the onions are translucent, add the milk and/or water. Milk is probably preferable but I didn't have enough for soup and breakfast in the morning so I did some of each, about 4 cups total I think. Then add the potatoes that you peeled and chopped and cooked in the microwave, I guess I should have mentioned that earlier. Microwaving is not necessary, but saves some time.

Add the bullion cubes, maybe 2, depending on how much liquid you used. Just taste it, you'll see. Add some pepper and when everything is ready throw it in the blender until it's smoooooth. Top with bacon bits, chopped green onions, cheddar cheese and plain yogurt. Slurp away.


Warning: If your boyfriend says he doesn't want any of your delicious soup DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. Because after you eat the whole thing he's going to change his mind and be all like, "Hey where's the rest of the soup?" and you'll have to admit that you ate it all, "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT??"

Hiatus Over

From now on I will be fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week), getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries. I will write more posts on this blog, they will be better, of higher quality, I will upload pictures even though I am lazy.

Starting....now.

Mushroom Ricotta Dumplings



These beets aren't part of the dumplings, but they're just so pretty. They're basically like a work of art and I tell them so everyday. Their egos got big, but it was worth it.

- half carton of milk (for cheese)
- button mushrooms, chopped
- onion, chopped
- garlic, minced
- salt and pepper
- wonton wrappers, thawed

First, make ricotta cheese (explanation here). It's easy, I promise. While it's draining, fry the onions and garlic in a little olive oil. When they're translucent, add the mushrooms and more olive oil if necessary. When everything's cooked nicely transfer to a bowl and add the ricotta and salt and pepper to taste.The ratio of cheese to mushroom mixture is really up to you.

When you've decided on your ratio, grab a wonton wrapper and fill it with a tablespoon or two of the mushroom mixture. Then fold it in half and seal well with a fork. This is important or they'll leak and you'll cry.


I boiled these and then fried them in butter with some onions. I served them with swiss chard and beets that I boiled and then tossed with balsamic vinegar, which is why they look black in the photo instead of their beautiful purple selves, but they tasted good. The next time I put them in borscht which was even better I think, but more on that later.

Sun Dried Tomatoes and Chz Plz.

The Killer Tomato is a classic Montreal sandwich, rivaled only by the Smoked Meat sandwich and Me Between Two Dudes in tha Club sandwich. Jks, that's also called Smoked Meat.

I picked up some sun dried tomatoes in Taiwan and god bless, they are as good as I remember. For a killer Killer Tomato sandwich you need:

- A few sun dried tomatoes, soaked in H20 for half an hour (save this liquid for later)

- Fresh tomatoes

- Cream chz.

- Bread.

- Basil (optional, but highly recommended)

After the sun dried tomatoes have soaked chop them up in smallish pieces and do the same for the basil. Now smash both into some cream chz and then spread on both pieces of toasted bread. Add a layer of fresh tomato slices, salt and pepper, and enjoy.

The salad in the picture is fresh swisschard leaves, candied walnuts, kiwi, and green apple, tossed in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

I also used the tomatoes to make a Sun Dried Tomato Basil Pesto. This time you'll need some chopped sun dried tomatoes, a clove of garlic, a bunch of chopped basil, some walnuts (pine if you have them) and olive oil. Then just blast them to smitherines with your mortar and pestal until they're a paste.

I used this pesto with spagetti and homemade ricotta cheese which is totally easy to make. Simply bring a pot of milk to a simmer, not boiling, never boiling, and then add a splash of two of vinegar (depending on your milk quantities) and a pinch of salt. The milk will start to curdle and after a minute of stirring you can just skim the curds off the top of the whey (just like Miss. Muffet!) and put them in cheesecloth or a sieve to strain for 40 minutes or so. Add a little more salt and your in ricotta goodness heaven.

Toss your cooked and drained spagetti with the pesto and some halved cherry tomatoes, the water the tomatoes were soaking in and top with ricotta. Boner in my mouth.

Eggs Benny

Due to lack of Korean options I've had to take brunch into my own hands. Risky business for someone who arbitrarily bite your head off anytime before 10:00am. Still, I will go to the ends and back for eggs benedict.

Hollendaise Sauce
- 3 egg yolks
- 1/2 cup butter
- tbsp lemon juice
- salt

I don't have a double broiler so this is how I got the sauce together, there are other ways if you are equipped for such things. Microwave the butter until it's bubbling. Separate the yolks and save the white for something else abd lightly beat the yolks. While the butter is still piping hot slowly add it to the yolks, whisking constantly. When all the butter pop it back in the microwave for 15 seconds at a time, whisking in between, until it's thickened. If you see clumps you've got to whisk the hell out of it to break them up. The lemon juice and salt and there you have it!

*CAUTION: this makes an obscene amount of hollendaise. As in people with heart conditions need not apply. I would scale it back dramatically in the future.

Latkes

I have Jew envy, beucase all the coolest people are Jewish, obviously, so I make latkes and pretend I'm one of the chosen people.

Peel several potatoes and then run them through a cheese grater. Then strain them with a cheesecloth, or just squeeze out the liquid with your hands. Add 1 egg and a few tbsps of flour, form into cakes and grill in a bit of oil.

Throw it all together on top of toast with some ham and sauteed red peppers. Take the pictures, then go back and put twice as much hollendaise on it. Heart attack here we come.